Amazing what people will come up with. Now there’s an entire set of imaginary girlfriend auctions, any of which you can bid on and win. Wondering what they are? Here’s how one woman describes it:
“Tired of having to explain to family and friends why you are single? Sick of people trying to fix you up on blind dates. I am offering you a service that could change EVERYTHING. I am NOT a playboy model, but that is why this is more believable than the other ads! I am a real person and my photos are real. I do not discriminate, therefore this offer is open to people of all races, backgrounds, and GENDERS.
I will be your sexy, loving, girlfriend, available to you through email, Instant Messenger, postal mail, and occasionally by telephone. (Phone calls will have to be set up in advance). If the final bidder pays more than $50 then I will be sure that I send a little bonus gift with his or her first letter. I will make your fantasies come true from afar, you just have let me know what type of woman you are looking for, what you hope to get out of the relationship, and I will make those things happen for you.
You will receive love letters from me on beautiful stationary, scented with my perfume. You will get two pictures of me immediately, so you will think of me at home and while at work. I will send additional photos throughout the relationship, and you get to set the guidelines. If you want pictures sent more frequently, just let me know. You are in control of this fantasy. This service will last two months, and can be renewed (at seller’s discretion).
When it is time to break up, you give me the terms of the break up and I will play along. Happy Ebaying.
*This is an Imaginary Relationship, therefore you will never meet the seller in real life. This agreement will end in 2 months, unless otherwise specified by the seller.
**Seller will be available daily for instant messages (at an arranged time) and will check email frequently, so response time should never be more than 24-48 hours.”
So there you go. Through the miracle of modern computer technology you don’t even have to meet a pretend girlfriend any more..
I don’t know whether this more amusing or sad.
I tend to opt for the latter, as I expound upon in my most recent blog entry.
Er, link got eaten on that last one. Grr.
http://www.bladam.com/archives/0401281744.htm