Now where’s the receipt for that darn duct tape?

Our Clueless-Paranoid-In-Chief Tom Ridge announced today that “the heightened alert level warning of possible terrorist attacks might be lowered in coming days depending on assessments of threats received by the government.” Um, isn’t that always true? That is, don’t we hope that the Department of Homeland Security, with its phenomenal $42 billion dollar annual budget, is re-evaluating this stuff on a minute-by-minute basis?


Which leads to the obvious question: can people get a refund on unused duct tape?



Here’s a link to the full New York Times piece: Ridge Says Warning Levels Might Be Lowered in Days.


One more pithy quote:

“Officials expressed concern about the possibility that terrorists might use chemical, radiological or biological weapons, although they said there was no evidence that Al Qaeda had obtained such weapons.”


“Mr. Ridge suggested that the threat of attack was much less outside of Washington and New York. He said the Bush administration might create a regional terrorism threat indicator that reflected the risks in the two cities that are regarded as prime targets because of their economic and political importance and Qaeda’s practice of trying to attack areas they have struck before.”



So now we’re going to have regional warnings too? Great, I envision something like a weather chart. In fact, maybe the Weather Channel will run it on the 30 minute mark, just after their pollen report…


Anyone else find this all more than a bit daft? I mean, it’s a complex situation, but this method of dealing with things seems pathetically clueless, somehow. Like stumbling in the dark, scaring millions of people (clue: duct tape and paint drop clothes aren’t going to keep radiation or chemicals out) and asking the Magic 8-Ball the next strategic question.

One comment on “Now where’s the receipt for that darn duct tape?

  1. I should imagine that the duct tape, what with its incredible ability to preserve life against chemical attack, could probably be put to other reality defying uses.
    How about going around the neighbourhood, collect up all the rolls of duct tape and send them out to Africa. There they could call upon the services of their local messiah and turn them into 10,000 loaves. Bonus points are available for collecting the plastic sheeting too as they can easily be turned into fish.
    Hope this helps?

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